PARROT (humor)

(Told by Erma Bombeck)

1. Erma had a parrot. He said 2 things, "Hello Barney" (his name WAS Barney) and "telephone". She bought a tape to help him learn more words. For 20 minutes, twice a day, he'd listen to 2 repetitive phrases, "Hey, I'm over here," and "I'm a bad bird". Then he was supposed to tra-la-la along to 20 minutes of the "Toreador" song. By the end of 3 weeks, she says she was considering making a necklace of Valium and licking it at intervals. The tape was driving her nuts. One evening at the dinner table her husband said, "I'm a bad bird." Then he added, "I have no idea why I said that."
   She gave the bird to her son.