THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU'RE BORED - humor, or weirdness; got this off a website but forgot which, but it gave no credit to whoever wrote it. Wasn't me.

* Learn to type with your toes

* Bloat

* Flash your goldfish.

* Set up your Christmas tree in April

* Be someone special.

* Go back to square one.

* Factor your social security number.

* Flirt with an evergreen tree.

*Make a pass at your toast

* Blow bubbles

* Smile.

* Duck!

* Develop a complex.

* Try harder.

* Hit the deck
* Swab the deck

* Cut the deck

* deck the halls

* Sleep on a bed of nails.

* Do not toss and turn.

* Do a good job

* Crawl

* Cheer up a potato.

* Pinstripe your driveway.

* Build a house with ice cubes.

* Call London for a cab. (Unless you LIVE in London; in that case call Hawaii.)

* Change your name - daily.

*Challenge your neighbor to a duel

* Howl.

* Memorize the dictionary.

* Stomp in the bathtub

* Stomp the yard

* Stop.

* Look.

* Listen

* Buy the Brooklyn Bridge

* Mail it to a friend

* Memorize a series of random numbers

* Exist...existentially of course

* Print counterfeit Confederate money

* Take a picture

* Put it back

* Play Solitaire for cash

* Count to one million FAST

* revert

* convert

* think shallow thoughts

* comtemplate a cockroach

* get a dog the chase your cat

* let him catch it

* investigate the Czar.

* Form a political party

* Have a political party

* Prepare for the worst.

* Prepare for the best.

* Smell

* Shower.

* Smell again.

* Find a bug and chase it

* Make yourself a pair of wings

* Fly

* Spider

* Spied her

* Be immobile

* Dance til you drop

* Check under chairs for chewing gum

* Squish a loaf of bread

* Moo

* Bounce a potato

* Outmaneuver your shadow

* Climb the wall

* Appreciate everything

* Challenge yourself to a duel

* Paint your house Day-Glo orange.

* Stand on your head

* Stand on someone else's head.

* See how long you can stay awake

* See how long you can sleep.

* Speak with a forked tongue.

*Apply for a unicorn hunting license.

* Count your bellybutton.
* Rotate your garden - daily.

*Shoot a fire hydrant.

* Apologize to it.

* Pretend you're blind.

* Annoy yourself.

* Get mad at yourself.

* Stop speaking to yourself.

* BE a side-effect.

* Blow up a balloon til it pops.

* Disassemble your car.

* Put it back together again.
* Think lewd thoughts about yourself.

* Send chills down your spine

*Peel grapes.

* Make paper from the skins.

* Get run over by a train of thought

* Make up famous sayings.

* Bite your pinkie finger

* Shave a shrub.
*Flash your mailman.

* Quiver

* Whine.

*Critique "Three's Company"

* Buff your cat.

* Have a formal dinner at Burger King.

* Change your mind.

* Change it back

* Learn to speak Farsi.

* Swear in Russian.

*Use an eraser til it goes away

*Interview your feet

* Make a list of your favorite fung

* Repeat

* Ad lib

* Fade

* Write graffiti under the rug

* Sit in a row.

* Stack crumbs

* Gesture.

* Make up words that start with "x"

* Punt.

* Sing a duet.

* Balance a pillow on your head.

* Hold your breath.

* Faint.

* Hold onto an ice cube as long as possible. (You could add the variation my son and his friends showed me, if you're a glutton for punishment. They add salt in the palm with the ice, and the result is a nasty burn - the longer you hold it, the worse it hurts, and it leaves a nasty mark too. Had to tell it, but I do not recommend anyone actually DO it. I think it must've began somewhere as a prank, and then, boys being boys I guess, they started seeing who could hold it longest. All his life I've told my son that there is a big difference in bravery and stupidity. But stupidity seems all the rage among teen boys, it often seems to me.)

*Adopt strange mannerisms.

*Open everything.

wait a sec - I'm afraid I will forget to say it later, and though everyone should know this is a joke and is not intended for anyone to REALLY do any of this, the whole thing with the teen boys and salt and ice got me to thinking that I'd best add a disclaimer. DON'T TRY ANY OF THIS FOR REAL. Well, some of it's harmless, but still, I am not really recommending any of this as a serious cure for boredom.

* Balance a pencil on your nose.

* Eat everything.

* Begin.

* Tie-dye your sheets.

* Carpet your ceiling.

* Hold your ear lobes.

* Fold your ear lobes.

* Flap

* Squat

* Squabble
* scramble

* Scrabble

* Analyze the Quran

* Be Buddha

* Levitate

* Meditate

* Medicate

* Award yourself the Nobel Peace Prize.

* declare yourself Pope

* Plug in the cat.

* Turn on everything.

* Turn off your neighbor.

* Knight yourself.

* Kill a plant

* Kill a planet